Mayo Clinic addresses domestic violence

Janay Palmer and Ray Rice address the media (Credit AP)

The video of Ray Rice knocking out his fiancée Janay Palmer Rice has hopefully launched a nationwide conversation about domestic violence. The Mayo Clinic’s advice on this topic is a must-read for all those whose lives are touched by the nightmare of partner abuse and for the general public as well. We may not be in a domestic abuse situations ourselves, but we are responsible for pressuring the government, colleges and universities, and other organizations like the NFL to intervene on behalf of current victims.

From the Mayo Clinic Staff:

Domestic violence against women: Recognize patterns, seek help

Domestic violence is a serious threat for many women. Know the signs of an abusive relationship and how to leave a dangerous situation.
Your partner apologizes and says the hurtful behavior won't happen again — but you fear it will. At times you wonder whether you're imagining the abuse, yet the emotional or physical pain you feel is real. If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing domestic violence.

Recognize domestic violence

Domestic violence — also called intimate partner violence — occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. Men are sometimes abused by partners, but domestic violence is most often directed toward women. Domestic violence can happen in heterosexual or same-sex relationships.

• Calls you names, insults you or puts you down
• Prevents or discourages you from going to work or school
• Prevents or discourages you from seeing family members or friends
• Tries to control how you spend money, where you go, what medicines you take or what you wear
• Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
• Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
• Threatens you with violence or a weapon
• Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets
• Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will
• Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it

Read more:

Janay Rice's chilling Instagram message

I could not have said it better than Taylor Marsh regarding Janay Palmer Rice's Instagram defending her husband Ray Rice who knocked her out and dragged her from an elevator. Initially, the NFL gave this domestic abuser a two-game suspension for his horrific treatment of Janay. As Marsh points out, it was only after a video of the knockout blow was made public that Rice was kicked out of the NFL.

Marsh begins her coverage with a screen shot of Janay's Instagram and continues from there:

 Janay Palmer, Ray Rice’s wife, writes chilling Instagram message that sends horrific signals to abused women, while revealing why Ben Carson’s apologist statement on behalf of her husband is representative of the NFL culture that let the football “hero” off the hook in the first place.

IT’S IMPORTANT to remember that the NFL‘s initial reaction to Ray Rice coldcocking Janay Palmer, now Janay Rice, was a mild two-game suspension. The Ravens even sent out a tweet where Palmer took part of the blame for her own unconsciousness! If you want to know why this was allowed to stand for so long see Republican Ben Carson‘s apologist statement for Ray Rice, which perfectly represents the NFL’s dereliction in this tale of domestic violence.

It wasn’t until the public saw the raw video footage that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and the Ravens acted.

The reaction of Janay Palmer (Rice) the day after sends a chilling signal to women who make excuses for their abusers instead of fleeing the scene, walking away from the relationship that’s built on extremes of emotion that has no relationship to love she is claiming exists.

The outcome leaves Janay Palmer (Rice) in an even worse situation, because now her husband has lost his livelihood in the NFL and at some point the furor will die down leaving her vulnerable again.
The sports writer for the New York Times, Juliet Macur, wrote a terrific piece emphasizing that it took a video to make the public react, because the facts of the case, known long ago, weren’t enough.

But it never should have taken this long. Not long after the assault, the police investigated and determined that Rice had knocked out Palmer. An earlier video showed Rice dragging Palmer out of the elevator as if he were hauling a trash bag to the curb.

That alone should have been enough for the N.F.L. to suspend Rice for a good, long time, or for the Ravens to get rid of him. It should have prompted the league to send a message to other players — as well as to its fans — that domestic violence will not be tolerated. But Rice was a star, and excuses are made for stars.

If you don’t understand how Ray Rice was allowed to initially escape prosecution, accepting a much lesser punishment of therapy from the court, nothing illustrates the culture of protecting the abusers of women better than Republican Ben Carson’s statement on behalf of Ray Rice.

Read More:

The NFL's awful message to women

Janay Palmer and Ray Rice. Rice knocked Palmer unconscious earlier this year.

Hi friends of Katalusis,

I just got this email message, and I urge you to join me in signing the petition below that holds the NFL accountable for its "awful message to women."


Awful message from the NFL to women
1 message

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Heidi Hess, CREDO Action	Wed, Jul 30, 2014 at 8:36 AM
Reply-To: "Heidi Hess, CREDO Action" To: Virginia Bergman
The NFL's violence against women problem Tell NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell: "The shamefully insufficient two-game suspension of Ray Rice for his documented assault of Janay Palmer sends a terrible message about how the NFL views violence against women. You need to take a strong stand and implement guidance--including appropriate discipline--for how the league will handle domestic violence, sexual assault, and any other violence against women in the future." Add your name: Dear Virginia, Earlier this year, Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice was arrested for the aggravated assault of Janay Palmer, his fiancee. The assault was especially newsworthy because video of Rice dragging an unconscious Palmer off an elevator went viral, but it’s hardly the only incident of violence against women involving NFL players. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has complete discretion in punishing players who violate the league’s personal conduct policy. Last week, he gave Rice a two-game suspension and a $58,000 fine. His decision to dole out such a weak punishment, which is lighter than what players who smoke marijuana receive, has sent shockwaves through the league and the media. On Monday, the NFL doubled down when NFL senior vice president of labor policy Adolpho Birch went on the radio and defended Goodell's decision as "appropriate." The NFL’s leadership is sending a clear but terrible message that violence against women doesn’t matter to the league. Enough’s enough: Join over 50,000 CREDO activists to tell NFL Commissioner Goodell to take violence against women seriously. Click here to sign the petition. Violence against women is an obvious, long-term problem facing the NFL.1 But as high-profile arrests of players for domestic violence and sexual assault continue, the league has done little or nothing. Most players involved in domestic violence incidents have received suspensions of one to three games. Commissioner Roger Goodell has issued longer suspensions for pot smoking, taking Adderall, DUI’s, illegal tattoos, and dogfighting.2 The commissioner has unilateral authority to punish people whose behavior is viewed as "detrimental to the welfare" of the league. But while players who are caught using marijuana or performance enhancing drugs are routinely issued serious punishments of four or more games, the NFL has consistently shied away from meaningful punishments for domestic abuse, sexual assault, and violence against women in general.   What does it tell young men and women about women's value when players receive harsher punishment for smoking pot than for violence against women? The “boys will be boys” culture that spawned the Steubenville tragedy and many a rape and abuse case in football programs around the country is reinforced by a ruling like this. When the NFL fails to deal seriously with incidents of violence against women, it sends a message to every league employee and fan that violence against women is OK. Tell Commissioner Goodell it’s time for a change. Click the link below to sign the petition. http://act.credoaction.com/sign/NFL_women?t=5&akid=11311.4080287.50h8dk Thanks for standing up for women. Heidi Hess, Campaign Manager CREDO Action from Working Assets Add your name: “Here’s What Happens When an NFL Player Beats His Fiancée Unconscious, Dave Zirin, The Nation, 07/24/2014. “The NFL's Domestic Violence Problem,”Jane McManus, ESPNW, 07/24/2014.